Friends-114 The One With the Candy Hearts

The One With the Candy Hearts

114  情人节糖果
罗斯和他的公寓大楼里一个姑娘克蕾丝登约会；
卡萝和苏珊正巧也在同一个餐厅就餐；苏珊去回电话；
痴情的罗斯目不转睛的听卡萝讲话，竟未发觉克蕾丝登拂袖而去。
乔伊想和罗瑞恩约会，但他不得不给女孩的朋友也找个伴；钱德应允帮忙，谁知对方的女伴竟是珍妮丝；
就这么着他们又交往起来；珍妮丝还在情人节给钱德买了心形糖果；
之后钱德“又”和她分手。
菲比、莫妮卡和瑞秋举行了一个宗教仪式，想扫除她们同男人交往中的霉运，结果引发小火灾；

消防员们赶来救火，还说情人节是他们业务最繁忙的时候。

1.14 The One with the Candy Hearts

Ross goes on a date with a Kristen, a woman from his apartment building; Carol
and Susan show up at the same restaurant;

Susan gets paged and leaves;

Ross pays so much attention to Carol that he doesn’t even notice his date has
gone.

Joey can’t go out with his date, , unless he brings a friend for her friend;

agrees to go, but the date turns out to be Janice;

Somehow they end up together again;

Janice buys candy hearts for Valentines Day;

breaks up with her–again.

Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel have a cleansing ritual to rid themselves of bad
luck with men, which turns into a small fire;

Fireman guys come to the rescue.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey
and are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]

eye vt.注视/egg v.怂恿 怂恿[eg:Egged on by his wife, Macbeth planned to murder
his king]/pun n.双关语/intended adj.故意的

Joey: I’m tellin’ you Ross, she wants you.

Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.

: Any contact?

Ross: She lent me an egg once.

Joey: You’re in!

Ross: Aw, right.

Woman: Hi, Ross.

Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)

stutter v.结结巴巴地说话/incoherent adj.语无伦次的

: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing’s
not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian.I don’t think we need a third…

Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.

Ross: An egg?

Joey: Yeah, you’re gonna go up to her and say, “Here’s your egg back, I’m
returning your egg.”

: I think it’s winning.

Ross: I think it’s insane.

Joey: Thank you.

: Thank you.Here.Go with the egg, my friend.

(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)

Joey: Think it’ll work?

: No, it’s suicide. The man’s got an egg.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, are there. Ross is still
talking to the beautiful woman.]

Monica: You can not do this.

Rachel: Do what, do what?

Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.

Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don’t you remember why you dumped the guy?

Phoebe: ‘Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening… alright,
still, it’s nice to have a date on Valentine’s Day!

mean adj.<美口>脾气暴躁的 难驾驭的

Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year.
I know I do.

Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?

Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.

: Oh, listen, about tonight…

Joey: No, no, no, don’t you dare bail on me. The only reason she’s goin’ out
with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.

bail on sb v.背叛(某人)

: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a…

Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, but…come on, man, she’s needy, she’s
vulnerable. I’m thinkin’, cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it
up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice.
You’re doin’ this.

pathetic adj.可怜的 可悲的/needy adj. 贫穷的[eg:They collected money to help
needy children]/roll n.卷形物/Cha-ching is a slang expression for the sound old
style cash registers(n.收银机) make on a sale total

Ross: Hi. She said yes.

: Yes! Way to go, man! ( and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross’ shirt
pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?

way to go <俚> congratulations-good job/crunch v.嘎扎嘎扎地压过

[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]

date n.约会对象

Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?

reflection n.倒影

: Oh, uh, I… don’t… care. (Joey’s date shows up) Ok, now, remember, no
trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.

: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.

: And what did you bring?

: She’s checking her coat. Joey, I’m gonna go wash the cat smell off my
hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.

zinfandel n.馨芳葡萄酒(以加州紫红葡萄酿制而成的无甜味葡萄酒)/a glass of red
n.一瓶红酒

white zinfandel

: Janice?

( leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, “It can’t be the same
Janice.”Janice enters.)

Janice: Oh…. my…. God.

: (angrily) Hey, it’s Janice.

[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, and Joey are talking.]

: Ok, I’m makin’ a break for it, I’m goin’ out the window.

make a break for it<口>(趁人不注意时)偷跑

Joey: No, no, no, don’t! I’ve been waitin’ for like forever to go out with .
Just calm down.

: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I’ve dumped twice
in the last five months!

Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin’? You’re makin’ me nervous, and I
can’t go when I’m nervous.

inal n.小便处

: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells
in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck
with men.]

Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete
Carney.

Monica: Which one was Pete Carney?

Rachel: Pete, the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we
had sex. (imitating) “Was it good for you?”

weeper n.哭泣者

Monica: Yeah, well, I’ll take a little crying any day over Howard the
“I-win” guy. (imitating) “I win! I win!” I went out with the guy for two
months—I didn’t get to win once.

Rachel: How did we end up with these jerks? We’re good people!

Monica: I don’t know. Maybe we’re some kinda magnets.

magnet n.磁铁

Phoebe: I know I am. That’s why I can’t wear a digital watch.

Monica: There’s more beer, right?

Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if
you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.

cleansing ritual n.洁净仪式

Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.

voluntarily adv.自愿地/bald adj.光头的

Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It’s Valentine’s
Day. It’s perfect.

Monica: Ok, well, what kind of ritual?

Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.

Rachel: Or?

Phoebe: Or…or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.

chant vt.反复而单调地唱

Monica: Burning’s good.

Rachel: Burning’s good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn.

[Scene: The Restaurant, , , and Janice are at the table. Joey and are seated
very close, and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]

one another adv.互相地

: You know, ever since I was little, I’ve been able to pick up quarters with
my toes.

quarter n.(美国 加拿大的)25 分硬币

Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?

good for you<口>你真厉害

Janice: By the way, . I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I
have a bag with just your heads.

: That’s OK.

Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little
puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.

puppet n.木偶/The Theatre of Cruelty is a concept in Antonin Artaud’s book The
Theatre and its Double. “Without an element of cruelty at the root of every
spectacle, the theater is not possible. In our present state of
degeneration(n.退化) it is through the skin that metaphysics(n.形而上学) must be
made to re-enter our minds” (Artaud, The Theatre and its Double). By cruelty, he
meant not sadism or causing pain, but rather a violent, physical determination
to shatter the false reality which, he said, “lies like a shroud over our
perceptions.”/ 残酷戏剧是由阿尔托(Antonin
Artaud)倡导的理论。他认为戏剧的功用就是使人摆脱文明的压抑，并把天生的能力解放出来。他主张表演神秘的奇景，如呻吟、尖叫、脉动式的灯光效应、异常的舞台木偶和道具等，来震撼观众。在他的论文集《戏剧及其替身》(1938)中阐述了这个理论。虽然只有一部戏剧《桑西》依照他的理论上演过，但其观点对先锋派戏剧(如生活剧团、荒诞剧)有重大影响

( whispers into Joey’s ear.)

Joey: (to ) We can’t do that.

: (disgusted) What? What can’t you do?

Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?

( and Joey leave the table.)

Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.

: Tell me it’s “you and me” we.

Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off.
I’m not even sure what slathering is, but definitely I want to be a part of it.

slather vt.厚厚地涂一层/lick off v.舔掉/slathering n.大量涂抹物

: Ok, you can not do this to me.

Joey: You’re right, I’m sorry. You’re right.

: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?

have sth to go 外带/mousse n.(多泡沫的)奶油甜点

chocolate mousse

Joey: I’m outta here. Here’s my credit card. Dinner’s on me. I’m sorry, .

: I hope she throws up on you.

throw up v.呕吐

(Joey leaves with . sits back down with Janice.)

: So…

Janice: Just us.

: Oh, what a crappy night!

crappy adj.<俚>糟糕的

Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, your shirt’s been stickin’
outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.

stick out v.伸出/zipper n.拉链/ever since 从那时到现在

: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up…
other patrons look at him) How ya doin’?

patron n.顾客

Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?

: Joey’s not a friend. He’s…a stupid man who left us his credit card.
Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?

dessert n.餐后甜点

Janice: I will go for that drink.

go for v.选择

: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it’s a man) Could we get
a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?

overpriced adj.定价过高的

Janice: Each.

: That’s right, each. Oh, and a Rob Roy. (to Janice) I’ve always wanted to
know…

Rob Roy:是 17 世纪著名的苏格兰山贼,是个劫富济贫的侠盗,与罗宾汉类似;本名是 Robert
MacGregor;后来司各特将他的事迹改编成了小说《红发酋罗布罗伊》;
他是苏格兰民族的骄傲，之后还以他的大名 Rob Roy 命名了一款著名的苏格兰威士忌酒/A
Rob Roy is a cocktail similar to a Manhattan. The drink is named for the
Scottish folk hero Robert Roy MacGregor.The is made with any other whiskey,
while the Rob Roy is made with Scotch whisky.Variants(n.变种) of the drink
include the Dry Rob Roy, which is made with dry vermouth and the Perfect Rob
Roy, which is made with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth. The drink
traditionally contains Angostura bitters, but this ingredient is commonly
omitted. Adding the honey-flavored liqueur Drambuie to a Rob Roy makes a
Bobbie Burns.

[Scene: ‘s bedroom, wakes up, and finds someone else’s hand on his chest. He
rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]

Janice: Happy Valentine’s Day!

Commercial Break

[Scene: The Hallway, is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]

Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?

: No… no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.

and yet adv.但是

Janice: Kiss me!

(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}

come out for v.出来拿

Monica: Oh, , sorry.

(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)

turn around v.回头

Monica: Ohhh, , sorry! Hey, Janice.

Janice: Hi, Monica.

: Ok, well, this was very special.

Monica: Rach, come see who’s out here!

(Rachel comes out.)

Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!

: Janice is gonna go away now.

Monica: I’ll be right back.

(Joey enters from the stairs.)

Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.

Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.

: Oh, good, Joey’s home now.

Janice: This is so much fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.

reunion n.团圆

(Monica comes out with her cordless phone.)

cordless phone n.无绳电话

Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There’s someone I want you to say hi to. (to )
He just happened to call.

Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it’s me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)

obnoxiously adv.惹人讨厌地

[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]

Ross: I’m just sayin’ if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the
whole seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from to ,
he doesn’t just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.

jet lag n.飞行时差反应

(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like ‘Why did I just say that?’
Ross’ ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross
stares at them.)

make a face v.做鬼脸

Kristin: That’s funny. Who are they?

Ross: The blond is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her… close,
personal friend.

blond n.肤色白皙的金发女人

Kristin: You mean they’re lovers.

Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.

Kristin: Wow,anything else I should know?

Ross: Nope, nope, that’s it.

(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)

Ross: Oh, and she’s pregnant with my baby.I always forget that part. (to
Carol and Susan) Hello!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]

bonfire n. 营火

Phoebe: Ok, so now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.

sage n.鼠尾草(用作调味品)/branch n.枝/sacramental
n.(天主教的)类似圣典之礼仪或事物(如圣水 圣油等)/Sacramental wine or Altar wine
is wine prepared for use in Christian liturgy(n.礼拜仪式) as part of the
celebration of the Eucharist(n.圣餐) or the Lord’s Supper. Some non-Christian
faiths also use wine in their ceremonies, but would not describe it in these
words.

sage branches

Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.

oregano n.<植>牛至/Fresca is a brand of citrus(n.柑橘) soft drink made by The
Coca-Cola Company. First introduced in the in 1963, the drink is now sold
throughout the world, although it is not widely available outside of . Unlike
other Coke products, it does not have a Pepsi equivalent (although in many
markets, Pepsico licenses, produces and distributes “Diet Squirt,” a very
similar beverage owned by Dr Pepper & Seven-Up, Inc.).

Phoebe: Um, that’s ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the
semen of a righteous man.

semen n.精液/righteous adj.正直的

Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn’t be doing the
ritual in the first place.

in the first place adv.从一开始

Monica: Can we just start throwing things in?

Phoebe: Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK.

direction n.指南

Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry’s letters. Adam Ritter’s
boxer shorts.

boxer shorts n.拳击短裤

Phoebe: Ok, and I have the receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.

receipt n.收据

Monica: Look, here’s a picture of Scotty Jared naked.

Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he’s wearing a sweater.

Monica: No.

Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!

Rachel: And here we have the last of Paulo’s grappa.

grappa <意>n.格拉巴酒(用酒渣酿制的一种白兰地)

Monica: Hey, Rachel, isn’t that stuff almost pure…

(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)

[Scene: Central Perk, and Joey are there. is preparing to dump Janice again.]

: How can I dump this woman on Valentine’s day?

Joey: I don’t know. You dumped her on New Year’s.

: Oh, man. In my next life, I’m coming back as a toilet brush.

toilet brush

(Janice enters.)

Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.

valentine n.情人

: Hi, Just Janice.

Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over,
and I’m gonna!

matchmaker n.媒人

(Janice kisses Joey all over. smiles.)

Joey: (to ) If you don’t do it, I will.

[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant.]

Ross: So, what do you do for a living?

Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I’ve been working..(Ross is
watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to
go. Carol is left stranded)…spent most of my time teaching science,which is
funny because, that wasn’t even my major.

stranded adj.无依无靠的/major n.专业

Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.

shoot the spot v.<口>解决困难

Susan: I thought they could…I’ll try to get back as soon as I can. I’m
sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh
hysterically)

hysterically adv.歇斯底里地

Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think…would it be too weird if I
invited Carol over to join us? ‘Cause she’s alone now, and pregnant and sad.

Kristin: (reluctantly) I guess.

Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?

Carol: Oh, no no no. I’m fine. I’m fine.

Ross: Come on. These people’ll scooch down. You guys’ll scooch, won’t you?
Let’s try scooching! Come on. Come on.Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick.
Carol, Kristin. Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin,
Kristin…(struggling)…does something that, funnily enough, wasn’t even her
major!

scooch <俚> to move the buttocks over, around or up and down

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got
out of control.]

Fireman No. 1: What do we got there?

Fireman No. 2: A piece of something: boxer shorts, greeting cards, and what
looks like a half-charred picture—Wow, that guy’s hairier than the Chief!

char v.烧焦/hairy adj.多毛/chief n.队长

Monica: You know, it’s a really funny story how this happened.

Fireman No. 3: It’s all right. It’s all right. You don’t have to explain.
This isn’t the first boyfriend bonfire that we’ve seen get out of control.

Fireman No. 1: You’re our third call tonight.

Rachel: Really?

Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine’s is our busiest night of the year.

[Scene: Central Perk.]

Janice: I brought you something.

: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan
Forever.

be loaded adj.装子弹的

candy heart

Janice: I had them made special.

: Ok, Janice.(tossing the candy) Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there’s no way
for me to tell you this. At least there’s no new way for me to tell you
this. I just don’t think things are gonna work out.

Janice: That’s fine.

: (surprised) It is?

Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn’t the end.

: Oh no, you see, actually it is.

Janice: No, it isn’t, because you won’t let that happen. Don’t you know it
yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.

: Oh, no I don’t.

Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up
together? New Year’s? Who invited who? Valentine’s? Who asked who into whose
bed?

: I did, but…

Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a
foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can’t live without me.
And you know it. You just don’t know you know it. See ya.

seek out v. 找出[eg:He sought out his friend in the crowd]/call out
v.大声叫唤/foghorn n.雾号(浓雾信号)

(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)

passionately adv.充满热情的

: Call me!

[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not
there.]

Carol: It’s not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.

Wolverine n.<美俚>密歇根州人的别称

Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear…(noticing Kristin’s absence) How long
has she been in the bathroom?

Carol: Uh, I don’t think she’s in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.

Ross: Well maybe it’s cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I
had in 9 years.

Carol: That could be it.

Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still
pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his forehead. Carol
picks it off ,puts it down and licks her finger.)

grill n.烤架/stick to v.粘住

Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won’t all be like this. Some women might even
stay through dinner. Sorry, that’s not funny

Ross: No, it’s just…you know the whole “getting on with your life” thing.
Well, do I have to? I mean, I’m sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and
she’s perfectly nice, and, but that there’s, that’s it. And um, and then I’m
here talkin’ to you, and, and it’s easy, and it’s fun, and, and I don’t, I don’t
have to…You know, here’s a wacky thought. Um, what’s say you and I give it
another shot? No no no, I know what you’re gonna say, you’re a lesbian. But what
do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let’s just stick a pin in
it, ok? Because, we’re great together, you know. You can’t deny it. Besides,
you’re carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you
keep sayin’ that, but there’s somethin’ right here. I love you.

get on with v.继续(干某事)/wacky adj.<俚>发疯的 古怪的/give it another shot
v.再试一次/put aside v.撇开/for now adv.暂时/stick a pin
就像用大头针把什么东西固定住，也就是保持这个话题 基调 forget about the fact of
her being lesbian for the moment，this is the line they had drawn before they
started this conversation,so they should not cross that line during the
conversation.

(They kiss.)

Carol: Oh, I love you too. But…

Ross: No but, no but.

Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It’s time
to take the pin out. You’ll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is
just waiting for you.

Ross: That’s easy for you to say, you found one already.

Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you’ll be set.

(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)

Carol: Not her.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, The girls are talking with the firemen.]

Fireman No. 3: We get off around , why don’t we pick you up then?

get off v.下班

Rachel: So, will you bring the truck?

Fireman No. 3: I’ll even let you ring the bell.

Rachel: Oh my god.

Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!

Monica: They’re nice guys.

Rachel: Oh, they’re firemen guys.

[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]

Fireman No. 1: You guys tell them you were married?

Fireman No. 2: No way!

Fireman No. 3: Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn’t know, I’m not gonna
tell them!

End